How to Deal with Male Competition when Meeting Women-I
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by: VinDiCarlo
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Word Count: 552
Or maybe you fear of getting embarrass if you approached a group of girls with one or two guys with them because you ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.
There are two reasons why guys have a fear in talking with women who were with other guys.
Most guys when they saw the girl being with another guy, they think it is her boyfriend.
This isn't a real reason to not talk to a woman, especially in a bar - it's a social setting where people meet other people. Plus - she's not his "slave" - she's a human being, not a piece of property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses.
Approaching oftenly a woman who is "with" a guy can make you look more confident, and draw out the jealous side of the guy, making him look insecure and weak.
The second reason why guys don't approach woman who is "with" a guy points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception.
Guys assumed that the "other guy" is stronger, cooler, or somehow more powerful than they are. Men tend to be threatened by other men.
This exist in an ancient survival strategy that has been passed through human minds.
In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the more "dominant" person is. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn't know how dominant the other guy is. The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.
As was probably common thousands of years ago, a guy doesn't know if he will be embarrassed verbally.
So it's better to play safe by assuming that the other guy is a threat. Guys that were too bold may have won a few confrontations, but it will take a single loss to end up dead or exiled from the game.
And then their genes were eliminated from "race" so to speak.
So the guys who played it safe, and avoided confrontation usually lived long enough to reproduce and survive.
The irony is that nowadays this hard-wired survival strategy is the basis for most approach anxiety - men makes a false assumptions that will lead them to avoid approaching women unnecessarily.
The thing is, most times when you see a woman talking to another guy in the bar or club, she's not WITH him.
They JUST MET!
I can't tell you how many exact times I have approached a woman that is being with a guy that I thought he was "with" that guy or say a boyfriend, then only to find out that it was just a dude that approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.
I have regrets to those times that I've missed so many opportunities talking to a woman just because I saw her with another guy. And this brings me to my first point:
I SHOULDN'T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL I SEE A PHYSICAL EVIDENCE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO THE GIRL.
Approach a woman so that you will know what they really are. Just remember to be alert and respectful, because in the off chance they are together, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and start a physical confrontation.
So use your head - just don't limit your options by making false assumptions.
About the Author
Vin has something very interesting to say about VH1's Pick Up Artist Exposed show.
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